Stumbled upon this song today. It showed up in my iTunes “hot list” of recommendations for me. With only the bare minimum knowledge of Latin, I did however recognize the word “voce” in the one song title to be the English word “voice”. Well that’s just enough of a nudge these days to peak my curiosity. So out of the four songs recommended for me, this song “Viva Voce” by The Rocketboys got my choice for a click through. One more click, entered my password, and ninety-nine cents later, I own it.
WOW is my rating out of ten for this song. It also gets my unsolicited vote to be THE anthem of 2015 for the Domestic Violence community. It deeply touches on some lyrics really close to my heart also – speaking thanks to “my team”, as I have nicknamed them; those who continue lifting me up these last two plus years as I crawl out of my own silence, finding my voice …
“To all the people I know that listen LISTEN TOME, hallelujah! To all the PEOPLE I know that PRAYED for me For my safety, hallelujah!
CAN you HEAR me NOW? I’m SINGING OUT as LOUD as I know how But AM I LOUD enough? I got MYVOICE and you got YOURS so let’s make a little NOISE ALL TOGETHER NOW!”
If you approach counseling a couple where there is physical or verbal abuse as if you are doing marriage counseling, then you have already derailed and are hurting the victim even further. You cannot address this like you would a difference-of-opinions type argument expecting to work things out in a reasonable way. When violence is involved, violence changes everything. This is a domestic violence situation and its not just a disagreement. Don’t make it worse. Get out of the way and get experienced abuse counselors involved immediately.
A MUST READ for ANYONE who may at ANY TIME IN THEIR LIFE have a conversation of ANY length with a victim of verbal/physical abuse. (Note: verbal abuse always proceeds physical abuse in a relationship but verbal abuse doesn’t always evolve in to physical abuse. I lumped them together to be inclusive of all victims).
If you would like to make a significant difference in the life of an abused woman you care about, keep the following principle fresh in your mind: Your goal is to be the complete opposite of what the abuser is.
The Abuser: Pressures her severely
So you should: Be patient. Remember that it takes time for an abused woman to sort out her confusion and figure out how to handle her situation. It is not helpful for her to try to follow your timetable for when she should stand up to her partner, leave him, call the police, or whatever step you want her to take. You need to respect her judgment regarding when she is ready to take action — something the abuser never does.
The Abuser: Talks down to her
So you should: Address her as an equal. Avoid all traces of condescension or superior…
I am sharing for the purpose of others seeing their story in mine – and then getting help and to safety for themselves and their children. I was looking for confirmation for many years that there was something wrong with my marriage or husband. I kept thinking it was me. I read books, went to counselors, asked friends. I never told anyone that I had been hit and my husband never ever apologized or thought what he did was wrong. I never told anyone of his rage and temper and control – I was pretty sure if I shared the darkest secrets I would pay for it later at home. I kept silent because he told me I was the whole problem, and I believed it was me too. He used my gifting of being outspoken against me. He told me with his actions that I shouldn’t have an opinion, or stand up for myself or my children because he was boss of the household. I share simply so other women will see what abuse looks like, how it disguises itself in the cloak of warped (not true) Christianity and twisted scriptures.
Why?(aka Why share your dirty laundry? just move on with life why don’t you?)
Reason #1: I have been singing worship songs and actually meaning them … because of my private and outward expressions of surrender to the Lord to direct my footsteps… and because of telling Him regularly that I will do ANYthing, or go ANYwhere and say ANY message He would have for me to share. And then on 10/22/12, as I sat at the courthouse filing a protection order against my husband, it was all about feeling the burden, seeing the gap and hearing the urgency to join up with others gone before me and to become a beacon of hope to others who are still trapped in the bondage of abuse and slavery within their marriages. That day I felt, and I still continue to choose to walk boldly and not be afraid, and to allow my experiences with domestic violence (disguised as discipline in the cloak of misinterpreted scriptures) to be an encouragement to the captives left dense in the fog and to be a wake-up call to the free that have ears to hear the cry of the “least of these”. If you ask me why – I will ask you “Since when do we get to pick the message He asks us to share?”
A blog reaching out to victims of abuse and others in need, providing insight about abuse, hope for the future, and guidance to see THE LIGHT that lead Secret Angel out of the darkness of her own abusive situation and helped her to not only survive but to overcome.